GUEST POST: Alyssa and Ben Live Blog the Oscars

Hello, friends!

For my guest post, Ben agreed to let me guest post (read: sabotage) his blog and live blog the Oscars. We've got guac, we've got wine, and we've got SASS AND ANGER AT HOW STUPID THESE AWARDS ARE!!!!!

Anyway.

Ben will also be pitching in during these updates. Ben's remarks are signed off with a B.D. initial. Mine are with an A.O. We'll be updating every time something worth writing about happens...

Film Independent Spirit Awards >>>>>>>>>>>>> The Oscars

I probably should have reminded you guys about this earlier, but the Film Independent Spirit Awards were today and holy fucking shit they continuously prove themselves to be the BEST AWARD SHOW every year!!!

Please enjoy this detailed recap!!

The 87th Academy Awards - My Predictions

It's that time of year again... the biggest award show of the year is upon us! You know... the one we all get so excited for and then immediately forget about the winners as soon as the notoriously endless show concludes?!?! Ohhhhh, yeah!!!!! Now, obviously there is a lot about the Oscars and award season in general that I strongly dislike (*cough* the intensely political/biased/regressive/often backwards nature of it all *cough*), so in order for me to fully enjoy this time, I have to look at the Oscars strictly as a game, using patterns and formulas to try and perfectly predict the winners. The more you understand the system, the easier it is to predict.

While this year initially seemed like one of the most wide open ever, the predictability is beginning to come into place, only a couple months later than usual. At least four different films have been legitimate front-runners over the past several months, which is absolutely unheard of. However, current momentum seems to be shifting towards only one of them, and I'm not too sure how to feel about it...

But first, I'm going to predict who/what will win, as well as who/what I believe should win, in all 24 categories! The 87th Academy Awards will air this Sunday, February 28th, on ABC.

(Click here to see all of the 2016 Oscar Nominations)

Theater Recommendation - THE WITCH (dir. ROBERT EGGERS)

YES, ANOTHER GOOD MOVIE HAS FINALLY HIT THEATERS!!! This psychological horror film/period piece has received universal acclaim from critics and has consistently been referred to as "one of the most genuinely unnerving horror films in recent memory"...

I actually didn't find it that frightening, but it's still incredible! The horrific dynamic and creepiness amongst this falsely attached (and overzealously religious) family feels both very old-school and entirely refreshing since most horror films of today don't understand the necessity of building strong and deep relationships amongst their characters (or, perhaps more appropriately, victims). 

It's a slow build for sure, but a confident one from first-time director Robert Eggers. Newcomer Anya Taylor-Joy stars as the eldest daughter in a family with intensely strong beliefs in witches and the evils they possess that terrorize them all. The film claims to be based on actual documents from 17th century writings (you can choose how much of that you want to believe...), but it throws in just enough supernatural flourishes to make it all connect. 

Click for showtimes.

2016 Is a Bust, So Here Are 10 Films to Watch on Netflix Instead

As much as I want to be recommending new releases, 2016 has been pretty uneventful so far. January is never exciting. How can I see Kung Fu Panda 3 when I haven't seen the second one?! The Coen Brothers' Hail Caesar! was fine, but not at all the movie it was promised to be... while also simultaneously being everything else instead?... The marketing campaign for Deadpool annoyed the absolute hell out of me, so I don't care if it's some sort of "worldwide phenomena"... I'm not going!!* No foreign films are generating much buzz. It's a wasteland out there.

The only thing keeping me going is that Robert Eggers' The Witch will finally be released this weekend!

Because of all this (and because I'm struggling to figure out what to post this week...), I decided to recommend my ten personal favorite films currently streaming on Netflix! I decided to exclude films I've previously recommended on this blog. Please watch!................. sorry most of them are super depressing/disturbing okay anyways enjoy....

* I'll obviously see it eventually because I'm a follower at heart :)

Funny Or Die Presents Donald Trump's The Art Of The Deal: The Movie

Easily the best film of 2016 so far. #DontBeALoser #WatchThisMovie #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

Link to full movie!

Where to Watch This Year's Oscar Contenders

The Oscars are pretty ridiculous... A bunch of Hollywood insiders (many of whom haven't even worked in the industry in decades!) giving a bunch of trophies out to other Hollywood people. I mean, how can anyone definitively decide every year what the "greatest achievements in film" are, especially when politics play such a huge role in that ultimate decision? Like, studios pay $150 MILLION+ every year just to campaign certain films (yes, like a political campaign) in the hopes that they get a few nominations... AND WE ALL BUY INTO IT EVERY YEAR!

... But, nonetheless, they're still a lot of fun and they (unnecessarily) hold a lot of power both within the business and culturally, having the potential to completely change a person's career/life, so let's watch some of the nominated movies!

I'm mostly going to focus on the nominated films that I like the most and/or the ones that are the most likely to win on February 28th. Some are actually available to stream right now, while other's are certainly worth a trip to the theater.

Recommendation - BONE TOMAHAWK (dir. S. CRAIG ZAHLER)

S. Craig Zahler's directorial debut is a trip! The current "Movie of the Week" on iTunes is this horror-western-comedy (?) hybrid about four men (sheriff, deputy, gunslinger, and cowboy) searching for a cowboy's kidnapped wife... Little do they know that she's been kidnapped by a tribe of cave dwelling cannibals!!

The cast is pretty great... Kurt Russell... Patrick Wilson... Richard Jenkins.... Matthew Fox!! Remember him?!?!?! That guy from Lost?!?!?!

.... Okay, I'll be honest, the film is sort of a mess and it most definitely feels like a first film (AKA there is definitely room for improvement), but there is a lot of great stuff thrown in there and it ultimately (and fairly successfully) gets the job done. And for only 99¢, I'd say it's worth checking out, especially if "cave dwelling cannibals" sparks your interest...

Rental just 99¢ on iTunes (FOR A LIMITED TIME!! This week only!)

Theater Recommendation - MUSTANG (dir. DENIZ GAMZE ERGÜVEN)

The Oscar-nominated Mustang is back in theaters this week at the IFC Center, so check it out NOW before you miss it!! The film focuses on five sisters rebelling against the traditional gender roles they're forced to conform to (with varying degrees of success) after "causing too much trouble" in their small northern Turkey village. 

Effortlessly ethereal. Undeniably feminist. Occasionally quite frightening. Definitely thumbs up 👍.

Click for showtimes.